Great and Terrible Faith
2/11/2013
Whether you're reading through the One Year Bible or just preparing for Lent, starting Wednesday, I offer this reflection. To really understand it, I challenge you to read Exodus 32:1-33:23 and Matthew 26:69-27:14, two remarkable and troubling passages.
What a great and terrible thing it is to be a Christian. February 11 in the NLT One Year Bible has the unfortunate coincidence (or design) of the golden calf in Exodus with the denial of Peter and the suicide of Judas in Matthew. Shudder. When God sees the idolatry of his own people, he is inclined to destroy them all. And how can we argue? Here God has brought them out of slavery, he has spoken to them audibly from a mountain raging with fire and smoke, and they trembled in fear and said we will do whatever the LORD commands. They hear him say, You shall have no other gods before me, and, You shall not make a graven image. Then in less than 40 days, they’ve made this abomination in the very presence of God. How can we say, No, God, don’t kill them? Why shouldn’t they die? The only answer is just what Moses says, for the sake of God’s own reputation and name. And then suddenly, we’re in Matthew, and Peter calls down curses on himself as he denies his Lord Jesus. How could anyone screw up worse? How similar a situation, in the very place where the covenant is made, God's people reject him. What a poor, wretched man Peter was in that moment. And yet how can I possibly claim to be better? I don’t just need to repent of sins I committed before God saved me, but sins I still commit, after years of walking with Jesus. Have I not also denied him? Have I not effectively called down curses on myself by confessing the name of Jesus and then rejecting him with my actions, choosing idolatry of selfishness and lust and pride? Should I not also be destroyed? Of course I should. The only reason I am not is because of the man who stood before Pilate innocent yet condemned and unwilling to defend himself. He died because of me. When Judas realized his betrayal led to Jesus’ death, he went out and hanged himself. Well, I also have betrayed Jesus, and the only reason I live is because Jesus died for my sin. My betrayal led to his death. How can I live with myself? Why don’t I like Judas hang myself, knowing what I have done to the Son of God?
And yet, you look at the New Testament church, and amazingly, followers of Christ are marked by joy. Rather than grief and guilt, we have freedom and forgiveness. How can we take this attitude, knowing the weight of our sin? In the Bible, what changes everything is the resurrection. Though our sin, and God’s wrath on our sin, put Jesus in the grave, he overcame it, he absorbed it and proved himself greater than it all. He surrendered to death only to destroy it and reign as the Lord of life, and he shares the spoils of victory with us, accepting us and uniting with us so that we have eternal life with him. O wonderful, merciful, triumphant Savior! If I focus on myself and my sin, it brings me to the brink of the cliff of the despair Judas fell from. Yet when I look to Jesus, the glorious, risen King, how can I help but be swept away in joy and delight? He is worthy. My life is forfeit, yet I live because of him. What else could I possibly live for? Joyfully I give everything to him, because it’s only in him my life has value. May every fiber of my being cringe away from sin as utterly repulsive. Sin leads only to despair and the worthlessness from which Jesus saved me. But may I live every day in joyful celebration of my Lord and Savior who is so holy as to be free from defect, so loving as to die to save me, and so powerful as to defeat sin and death and stand in triumph as King.